Out of Sync

Guilty Pleasures

2011-06-25T19:29:00.004-05:00

I have a confession: I love cop shows. Not comedies or dramas about cops, but the real thing like Cops, Campus PD, Alaska State Troopers, Manhunters, Border Wars...I could go on and on. I love to see the bad guys and the criminally stupid get what's coming to them. I love a good car chase, and I really love it when the good guys prevail. I have respect for law enforcement and the shows just reinforce it.

But as I watch all of these shows, I've noticed a disturbing trend: an entire generation of young adults who have zero respect for law enforcement. Campus PD is filmed on or near college campuses across the country. Most of the kids are getting in trouble for loud parties, minors in possession, or public intoxication - charges that aren't going to ruin them but should be taken seriously. I can't begin to tell you how many kids I see smarting off (yes - showing my age) to these officers. They have zero respect, zero manners and don't comply with the officers.

There was one episode where a female student was having a party that apparently got too loud and neighbors called police. When the officer showed up, she slammed the door in his face and wouldn't come out. When the door opened and she stepped out, the officer asked her to step to the side of the porch and she SCREAMED for the officer to take his hands off of her. Then her brother started yelling that their dad was a federal agent and this cop was going to lose his job. This rant went on and on. Wouldn't it have been easier to take the $100 ticket and move on? Then I started to wonder what their federal agent father thought about it? Did he condone it? Did he tell them that their behavior was unacceptable?

You can always pick out the pre-law and law students on the show, too. They want to argue the law with the officers; they know their rights. It just seems to me that if they would accept responsibility and close their mouths, they can have their day in court without the responding officers adding on extra charges.

Another guilty pleasure that I reluctantly admit to is Bridezillas. I don't plan my week around it, but I've seen a few episodes. I am disgusted by the behavior of these women, and of the friends and families who support it. You can see brides berating their friends who don't look perfect in a dress; one bride sent her bridesmaids to boot camp while her fluffy butt went out for donuts. I've watched brides throw tantrums unlike any I've ever seen when something doesn't go their way. They openly manipulate and humiliate all of those around them.

What does this have to do with the kids on the cop shows? They're all (usually) about the same age - late teens through mid to late 20's. Have we really created and encouraged that generation to behave that way? When did we, as a society, say it's okay to throw a bouquet at the florist because you don't like it? When did we say it's okay to spit in the face of another person?

I'm glad these shows are merely my guilty pleasures and that I don't have to deal with these people on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't end well for the college students or the brides. Maybe we need a combination show - Cops chasing Bridezillas. I'd so watch that.

A letter to Charlie Sheen

2011-03-09T07:20:00.005-06:00

Dear Charlie,

Oh how I've enjoyed you over the years, from movies such as "Major League" to the incredibly funny sitcom "Two and a Half Men." You have made me smile and laugh. I even jumped into the fray and started following you on Twitter. It was fun...for a minute.

What happened to you? Did the drugs overtake you, or did your ego tell you that you were capable of handling all drugs? Now, the more I read, it seems to me that you need help. I never knew that you shot Kelly Preston (yes, I know...an accident). We won't even talk about the knife you allegedly held to Brooke's throat. Fine, we'll leave the personal problems alone.

But let me explain how the rest of the world works: you don't bite the hand that feeds you. What does this mean? This means that interviews, without the consent or knowledge of your attorneys or publicist, are never a good idea, even if they are from Sober Valley Lodge. You don't rant and bitch about your bosses, no matter how crappy they are. We've all had crappy bosses, man, but you have to just go bitch in private, not public. You don't wield machetes from a roof in Hollywood when you don't get your way.

But the last straw for me? When you publicly lashed out at Jon Cryer. Jon has respectfully kept his mouth closed (a lesson you'd do well to learn, albeit a little late). Did it occur to you that he has his own family to provide for, that maybe he needs to put HIS interests ahead of yours? Just because he doesn't publicly support your latest temper tantrum or rant, it doesn't mean he doesn't support you. It just means that he has wisely chosen to keep his mouth shut.

It was a good run. Thanks for the laughs, but I'm done following you on Twitter and reading about your antics. Good luck, Charlie. I sincerely hope you get the help you need.

In my mind

2010-12-02T22:47:00.003-06:00

In my mind, I'm not 41. In my mind, it hasn't been 23 years since I graduated from high school. It hasn't been 25 years since the music of the 80's rocked my stereo and parachute pants were cool. In my mind, I'm somewhere between college and 41.

The Class of 1987 had its dreams (apologies to the Statler Brothers). I don't recall thinking there would be any tough spots on the road ahead. After all, everything had been great up to that point! No one plans for the bad stuff; it just happens.

But then I get a dose of reality and know that we are truly adults. We're spouses, partners, parents, friends, grandparents. We have grown-up jobs and responsibilities. We care for sick children and parents. We've lost classmates and parents and grandparents. And tonight, we have a widow in our class. It just seems so strange; we're so young to face the big issues...in my mind.

Fame should be fleeting

2010-09-11T07:42:00.003-05:00

When I call your name, please step forward: Jon & Kate, Lindsay, Paris, Any Kardashian, Heidi, Spencer, and the entire cast of Jersey Shore. Your fifteen minutes are up. You may now resume your lives that were, and continue to be, uninteresting to most of us.

There is no one listed here that has done something so fabulous, so wonderful as to garner all the attention he or she currently garners. Ugly divorces, continued bad decisions, reality shows....these do not make you important in my life, or in the lives of my friends and family. When you cure cancer, feed the hungry (and don't use it as a photo op), help out someone less fortunate, or patrol a perimeter, then you can have my attention.

Some people crave attention and fame. Some need it more than others. But when your fifteen minutes are up, they're up!

This post is dedicated to Staff Sgt. Jesse Infante, from Houston, who was killed in Afghanistan on August 30th. I didn't know him or his family, but he was doing something worthwhile. He was looking out for us. Rest in peace, soldier.

Grief is a bitch

2010-02-24T21:08:00.002-06:00

Grief sucks. There's no getting around it. And just when you think you're moving to a good place, a tidal wave of grief overcomes you and drops you to your knees.

Last week, my grandmother died. It was expected - she fought lung cancer for 13 months prior to her death. We had even been called home the weekend before she died so we could say goodbye. But when that call came last Wednesday, I was crushed. I knew it was coming. I even knew it would likely be that day. But it was still a fresh wound.

On Friday, we decided to remove the valuables from her house to beat the burglars to the punch. I walked into her bedroom, like I had done 100 times before. But when I saw the pewter box filled with coins from her travels around the world, I sat on her bed and cried like a child. A few minutes later, I was fine. Hours later, I burst into tears when I thought about her birthday in March we won't be celebrating with her.

I know that grief has stages, but can I fast forward through this? I don't want to be sad.

BFFs forever....or not....

2009-12-31T18:11:00.005-06:00

As children, we announce to our playground buddies that Amy or Susie or Bobby is our BESTEST FRIEND EVER! We declare proudly that we are best friends forever and ever. But sadly, that isn't always the case.

As we grow older, our lives change. Our cities change. Our priorities change. And even our friends change. We struggle to keep those old friends in our present lives, but at times it's so difficult. Fifteen years ago, I left my hometown and my bestest friends. We promised to stay best friends and visit often. But then the weddings started. Then came first houses. Then the cute kiddos arrived. Money was scarce for some of us. We missed each other's big moments although we were only 250 miles apart.

Over the last few months, I've thought a lot about these old friends. I miss them so much. I feel like I've lost out on the best years of our lives. I've tried to get to Houston to catch up, but I can't seem to find my way home. For a while I was dating someone who lived out of town, so my time was split between my current home, the town where my family lives, and the town where my boyfriend (now husband) lived. No excuses, just what happened. The other girls have their reasons, too. It's just life and sometimes it just gets in the way! As much as I enjoy Facebook, it's a window to all that I miss.

As I end 2009 and start 2010, this is just another way I feel out of sync.

Got something on your mind? Say it. No worries.

2009-09-14T19:44:00.003-05:00

I continue to be amazed at the words spoken and the actions taken by "role models" - whether we chose to look at them as role models or if these people self-selected as role models. I'm referring, of course, to the actions and words of Michael Jordan, Kanye West, and Serena Williams, and others. I can only hope it was a full moon that caused all of them to speak to people in a way that they wouldn't speak to their mothers.

Michael Jordan used his induction into the NBA Hall of Fame as a lashing out at many, many people including former teammates and other players. In particular, he admonished his high school coach for choosing to keep another player on varsity instead of him. Call me crazy, but don't you let high school issues go when you leave high school?

Kanye West rushed the stage and stole the spotlight (again) at an awards show (again) to say that Beyonce should have won an award instead of Taylor Swift. This wasn't the first time that Mr. West decided he was judge and jury on an award. Sure, he apologized to Taylor but she'll never get HER moment back. He took that from her.

Serena? She cursed a line judge and added threats. What about the esteemed senator from South Carolina? He showed no respect for either Mr. Obama nor for the presidency. What about the governor of South Carolina? Did he think he could run off to South America to see his girlfriend and there would be no consequences?

Have we lost all common courtesy in this country? Is it now acceptable to say or do whatever comes to mind and assume there will be no recourse? Actions have consequences but for celebrities and politicians, apparently not.

The Sweetest Thing

2009-08-11T21:13:00.003-05:00

When you adopt a dog from a shelter, you just never know what you'll get. When we adopted Gigi in June, HSNT told us that her owners were not able to take her to their new home. After spending some time with her, we think she might have lived with an older person, because she is calm and patient and loves to sit near or on us.

With each passing week, we learn a little more about her. Certain words or phrases elicit reactions from her that make us think it's a carryover from her last family. For example, one Sunday morning I walked into the kitchen and said I was going to make pancakes. Gigi ran into the kitchen as fast as she could and sat in front of the stove with her tail wagging. She knew all about the pancakes.

Last night, my husband shared another trait with me. Most afternoons, he listens to music on his computer. About a month ago, he noticed that she reacted to certain instrumental music. She sits on his lap and turns her head to the music and wags her tail. We think that her last family must have shared their love of music with her. Her reaction was so sweet - it truly brought tears to my eyes.

I wonder if she knows how much happiness she brought to our family.

Proper attire required? Apparently not.

2009-08-01T18:23:00.002-05:00

Last night, my husband and I went to a local restaurant for dinner. It wasn't quite Morton's, but it wasn't Chili's. The proprietors posted a sign at the front door requiring proper attire. I presumed that most people who would patronize such a restaurant (where dinner for 2 exceeds $100) would honor such a sign. I was WRONG!

I was so surprised by the number of men wearing camo shorts, t-shirts, flip-flops, and ball caps. These weren't just teenagers in such clothing, but adults. One guy was at least 50 - he was wearing a t-shirt that belonged on a college kid, a belt that should have been on a teenager at a skate park, and a hat that didn't belong indoors. It's as if we've all forgotten that we should occasionally break out the long, grown-up pants and shoes with toes before going out.

Don't get me wrong - it wasn't just the men that were dressed inappropriately, but the women, too. Blue jeans, tank tops, and flip-flops, too. This would have been great if we were at the local pub, but we weren't.

Call me old fashioned, but I long for the day when people dressed for the location, the occasion, and their age.

For Maddie

2009-07-16T23:20:00.004-05:00

Several months ago, I stumbled across a blog written by White Trash Mom. She was discussing her blogger friend Heather, and the loss of Heather's young daughter, Maddie. I decided to check out Heather's blog, TheSpohrsAreMultiplying.com.

From the moment I saw a picture of Maddie, I was mesmerized. How could such a beautiful angel be taken from this earth, from her parents, so young? For days, I sat and read every one of Heather's blogs, from the beginning of a very difficult pregnancy, to Maddie's premature birth, to Maddie's passing. I don't know Heather nor her husband Mike, but I feel like I've been there with them at every turn. I can't begin to imagine the joy of bringing that precious child into the world, or the gut-wrenching loss of losing a child who was only 17 months old.

Heather shared pictures, stories, and movies with all of us who are fortunate enough to read her blog. I looked at her pictures and smiled at Maddie as she smiled back at me through the screen. Heather's writing stirs something in me, as if I've known her and her family all our lives. I grieve with her and Mike; I cry for them; I pray for them.

In her grief, Heather, along with her husband Mike, have started a foundation to honor Maddie. Since Maddie spent the first 68 days of her life in NICU, Heather and Mike wanted to help other parents who face the same difficult time. The foundation, friendsofmaddie.org, will provide bags with necessities such as pen and paper, toothbrushes, and snack bars to parents with children in the NICU. If you'd like to sponsor a bag, click on the button on the left of this blog. Otherwise, I ask that you hug the loved ones nearest you and thank God for another day with them. I also ask that you pray for Heather, Mike, and their families as they grieve and try to heal.

Jon and the Gold Digger Minus Kate and Eight

2009-07-16T21:00:00.001-05:00

Okay, I've tried to stay out of the fray with Jon and Kate. I used to watch the show. Who wouldn't watch a show about twin girls and their six siblings? In the beginning, it was entertaining and made me thankful for my own quiet home. I watched as people and companies gifted Jon and Kate with much needed family vacations and toys - things they probably couldn't do on their own.

I also watched as Kate became increasingly tougher on Jon. I started feeling like she was picking on him, emasculating him on national television. Well, friends, I believe that pendulum is starting to swing the other way. What we, the viewing public, may not have seen was that Jon was the 9th child in that house. Although he (apparently) willingly married young and immediately fathered eight kids, he seemed immature and his latest antics just confirm it.

I'm not a lawyer, nor do I play one on tv, but I would think any lawyer worth his weight in salt would advise his client going through a very public divorce to keep the new gold-digging child girlfriend out of the limelight. The attorney might even suggest that his client maintain a low profile himself. But Jon? Jon's attorney must not be saying much because in recent months, Jon has pierced his ears (nice), held court with the Paparazzi in his driveway, said he was "excited" about this next chapter in his life (as a single man), and flaunted his 22 year old girlfriend all over St. Tropez.

And the girlfriend? She is the daughter of a surgeon who, as a favor to his wife, performed a tummy tuck on Kate. Mrs. Glassman was such a fan of the show she invited Kate to recuperate for a week at her home. Now the young daughter is playing with the older, married (yes, honey, he's still married) Jon in front of every tabloid camera in the world. Let's not forget she's now sporting some super-tacky skull diamond ring. I'm sure she wouldn't be so interested in him if there wasn't some money in his pocket.

Hey, Jon....you have eight kids at home. You don't need this one- she'll cost you more than the other eight combined.

Sheila Jackson Lee - Ready for Her Close-Up

2009-07-10T22:08:00.003-05:00

Growing up in Houston, I was used to seeing Sheila Jackson Lee everywhere. During her time on Houston City Council, she was always yearning for attention. My mom used to say that the most dangerous place to be is between Sheila Jackson Lee and a camera.

So, it should come as no surprise that the congresswoman from Houston was on the stage at the Michael Jackson Memorial touting her as yet to be passed resolution honoring the King of Pop. She paraded on stage at this memorial in a white suit. Way to show respect, Congresswoman. She then brought forth the framed resolution to honor Michael Jackson's contributions to society. Huh? What did he do for the people in her district? In her city? Not a damn thing. This was just another example of Congresswoman Lee taking an opportunity to put herself in front of a camera.

Congresswoman Lee should put herself behind a desk instead and concentrate on the more important matters at hand like the economy or health care or funding this ridiculous war. For that matter, pick up an etiquette book and read the chapter about appropriate attire for a funeral.

The Unwanted

2009-07-04T20:18:00.003-05:00

In the last 5 months, we have adopted two dogs from the Humane Society of North Texas. We first adopted Rose in February; she was only 6 weeks old. She didn't know hardship or that she wasn't wanted. All that she knew was that she was tired and cold and tiny. We brought her home and she has flourished. But each day, I wonder if her mom, two sisters, and her brother found good homes. I know they were all adopted - I just hope they're loved.

About a month ago, we (okay - I) decided that Rose needed a friend so we adopted Gigi. She's approximately three years old. We don't know why she ended up at the shelter. We were told her people couldn't take her wherever they were going. She's a good dog - very sweet and loving and playful. She's finally learning to trust us and that we won't be taking her back to the shelter.

I know that people fall on hard times and they can barely feed their families, much less their pets. But so many others just get tired of their pets and "put them out" wherever it is convenient. Or they take them to a shelter. Or they just move on and don't give these pets a second thought. I've often wondered how these people would react if someone did that to them - just got bored and dropped them off. Pets are not accessories, nor are they things that can be discarded. Pets are part of the family, until death do you part.

A new blogger hits the web

2009-07-03T07:19:00.001-05:00

The web has enough bloggers - more than enough. But I have thoughts and opinions and ideas and want to share them with anyone willing to read them. I've recently started following a couple of blogs on a regular basis and am enthralled with the comings and goings of these strangers. I hope people will think the same thing about my blog.

I think the title of my blog is pretty descriptive - Out of Sync. That's how I feel a lot of days. It's not a negative feeling - just a feeling. Remember high school? You were a jock or a nerd or a stoner or a cool kid. What if you were out of sync with all of those groups? Where did you fit? That's how I feel today. Am I a liberal Republican or a conservative Democrat? I'm a newlywed at age 40 when most of my friends were newlyweds in their 20's and 30's. So who do we hang out with - the newlyweds who think we're fossils or the people our age who have kids and wonder why we don't? It seems life is all about fitting in, so I want to explore what it's like to just be.